Did I pray for this?

I had no idea how much bunnies poop. It was a lot with two bunnies, but now we have nine. Mom, Dad and seven babies. We didn’t mean to have nine. When we bought the bunnies, we thought they were two adorable baby boys. They grew up and one got pregnant.

Apparently the seller was wrong.

And then I remember – I prayed for this….

Then last night I was finishing up a fish and plantain meal for my 17-year-old at 9:30. We bantered back and forth as I cooked. Wilna likes her fish crispy. Extra crispy. Everyone was already in bed when the smoke alarm went off. My 86 year old mom came upstairs in her robe. Her smoke alarm is kind enough to scream words at her: “Fire! Fire!”

Sorry mom.

And then I remember – I prayed for this.

I remember the moment so distinctly. Ten years ago I was working out on an elliptical and I had a view of the gym lobby. A mom was just getting ready to leave and she was chasing down her  baby boy. His hair was wild, his smile was big and he had his running shoes on. He darted this way and that and his mama was getting frustrated.

“Over here right now!” She said, her voice raised.

He giggled and dashed the other way.

I could see the sheer frustration on her face and yet I so longed for what she had. I had four beautiful grown kids and yet I ached for a little boy. We had actually started the adoption process with a young woman and our birthmother had chosen another family the day our boy was born. I was gutted. I so longed to be a mom again…. and seeing the scene play out before me, tears welled up. Oh Lord, where is my little boy?

Fast forward nine years.

Baby bunnies and smoke alarms. And this morning, 5:15 came quickly. I threw on some clothes and hustled downstairs. Bacon in the oven, rice in the cooker. Clean up some dishes from the night before, get some fruit sliced and warm soup on the stove for lunches.

“Mom, where’s my water bottle?”

“Mom, what do I want for lunch?”

“Mom, can you help me with my hair?”

“Mom, are you even listening?”

And from my non-verbal boy, a tug on the arm as he points toward the fridge.”Hungry?” I ask. A nod. Sandwich made in impressive time as I stir the warming soup.

The chaos of a big family on a school morning.

I prayed for this….

Ah, and don’t forget the posted family photos. The smiling snapshots caught miraculously in sync that don’t reflect the pre or post meltdowns. The cost of car insurance for our teen and sports camps for the littles. The non-existent moments of quiet in the house. The piles of laundry and the mountains of dishes. The endless talks about grades, about friends, about Jesus and dreams and heartaches. And that one talk about baby bunnies and humping that made me rethink pets – ever again.

Yes, I prayed for this…

And then just the other day. I dropped some things off at school for the kids. I ran Into Savannah in the hall and she wrapped her arms around me. “Come to lunch with me!” I went and sat with her friends and we talked all things important to a third grade heart. In the hallway I ran into my son. “Mom!” Laurentz threw his arms around me and squeezed me tight. “Mom, what are you doing here?” No matter, he seemed to think. Just happy to see me as he went in close for one more hug. And later Lovence as I got him off of the bus and he leaned in for a rare side hug before racing inside. Then Wilna and our banter last night as I cooked and nearly burnt down the house.

It’s a crazy life, but it’s a beautiful life.

And I prayed for this.

Granted, I dreamed of one and God quadrupled my prayer and gave me four littles – but that’s just God and his sense of humor. They are still the answer to the prayer of that woman on the elliptical so long ago. The chaos, the fears, the worries, the early mornings, the laundry, the dishes, the laughter and tears… it’s all part of the answered prayer.

I know this time will fly by. With four beautiful adult children and their families in my life, I already know how quickly it goes. I don’t want to miss a moment. I’m so profoundly grateful I get to be part of their lives for this window of time. It’s messy, stressful, tiring, beautiful, crazy, fun, annoying, amazing and exhausting.

And the best thing ever.

I prayed for this – And in both the mundane and messy, I don’t want to take a moment for granted.

Thank you, God.